Regina Carlysle

Yup. I’m a baaaad baaaaad girl. I write erotic romance. And if there’s a 12-step program for that just keep it to yourself because I’m not interested. Writing erotic romance isn’t something I set out to do. It just evolved. Yes, I’ve always written HOT but eventually I crossed over to the dark side and I’ve never looked back. Not only are erotic writers the most fun people to be found anywhere, they are kind, accepting, non-judgmental and possess a great sense of humor. Who wouldn’t want to write in this genre and be around such cool people?

The other day an erotic romance writer was wondering how to respond to snarky comments from others about the kinds of books she writes. Being the generous women they are, a number of writers replied offering their experiences and some very cool responses. Many years ago, I was with a group of local women, only about five or six, and we all knew each other since our daughters were friends. At this time I wrote romance and hadn’t yet begun my little voyage toward the naughtier stuff. Now, I live in a really bible-belty area in Texas. Very conservative. I seldom bring up the subject of my writing. Sometimes that is safer. Anyway, one of the ladies goes….hey, are you still writing? I smile and say…yes, I am. I’m having lots of fun with it. Nope, didn’t make a big deal and that’s my standard response to this stuff. Often the subject will drop right then and other times…no. This time however the questions came at me fast and furious. Surely I wrote childrens books or something, one said. I laughed and said, no, I write romances. One of the women who had been very quiet through the discourse kind of lifted her nose and smirked a little (I’ll NEVER forget that smirk) and said….sometimes I like to read trash but not usually.

I swear.

A gasp went up among the other women and I honestly didn’t know what to say. They quickly came to my defense saying things like…I loooooove romances. How fun! What a great thing to write! Blah blah. I swore then and there I would never be caught ‘flat footed’ again. I learned that day that I have a rebellious streak. It had been well hidden but she was born kicking and screaming that day. Now, when someone gives me this ‘raised eyebrow’ look, I am prepared.

My standard response (always delivered with a smile and using my sweetest voice)? Why yes, I DO write romances and not only that, but I write erotic romance. That usually shuts em up immediately. Sometimes they sniff and look like they’ve sucked on lemons and I’ll laugh. Sometimes I’ll laugh AND shake my head a little. That totally throws them off. Other times, I’m completely surprised by a reaction. I’ve been literally grabbed by the shoulders, shaken, and had someone yell in my face….OMG OMG, where can I get your books? Lately I’ve learned that erotic romance readers are EVERYWHERE. We have an active underground in these parts and that surprised me…pleasantly.

Do you have a standard response to genre snobbery? I’d love to hear it.

Read something the other day about a writer who’d posted an excerpt of one of her books and she got an email from some ‘concerned person’ that the names of her characters were the same as characters in a television show. The implication was that she had ‘copied’ those names and used them in her book. The male character (the hero) had an unusual name but it is ‘out there’ and has been for a very very long time. The woman’s name? Ordinary in every way. We’ve all known someone by this name and have read it a gazillion times in a million books. AND she wasn’t a central character in this author’s story.

Let me just say this. There are no new plots or new names. Everything has been used before in some way, shape or form. What makes each story different is the individual author’s voice. An author who uses the pen name Nora isn’t guilty of stealing from the other very famous Nora. If you have a character named Mary are you ‘stealing’ from the other authors who have heroines named Mary? Get my drift? Yes, there are real issues involving plagarizm out there but this involves someone writing the exact thing with no variation of plot twists and lifting exact passages from another book. I’m not an expert on this issue by any means. I’ve never been accused of it nor known anyone who has but most authors read about this stuff.

We all want to be original, to write something different and unique but the simple fact is this, there will always be something in our story that has been done before. I honestly believe we must just relax, write the story of our heart in our own way and not worry about the rest. Make sense?

Those cupids are pesky little devils! They are flyin’ around all over the place with Valentine’s Day only a few day away. Admittedly, when I was much younger, I got all mooshy and gooey over this particular holiday but these days? Not so much. Maybe when you’ve been married 27 yrs. it all becomes rather ‘old hat’. Or maybe it’s just US. Ha. Who knows? Mr. Regina tends to be a practical, rather than romantic, guy. His idea of showing he loves me is to wash and wax my car,get it filled up and put ‘shiny stuff’ on the tires. Mr. Romance. Ah but you’ve gotta love that and, in a way, respect it. During the early years of our marriage he would call me up, sigh loudly and say…ooooookay what kind of perfume do you want? I’ve always laughed about stuff like that but, hey, that’s probably why our marriage works.

I’ve come to realize over the years that some guys are talkers and some are doers. I’ll take a doer over a talker any day. He is dependable, tough, and the guy everyone goes to in a crisis. A few days ago he called and said…damn, honey, those roses are getting more expensive every year. I’m thinkin’…hmmmm. He’s thinking about Valentine’s Day here and this is a verrrry broad hint. So I say…wellll, I don’t think a guy HAS to go with roses, ya know. Those big, splashy gerber daisies are wonderful. He says…splashy huh? So I laugh. I say…yeah, SPLASHY. A few minutes later he calls to ask if our daughter’s apartment office will call her to pick up flowers or will they just deliver them directly and then calls to for my mother’s exact house number.

No wonder he didn’t want to do roses. He’s getting flowers for all of us! My daughter, my mom, his mom, and me. Now WHO SAYS he isn’t just a little bit romantic and very thoughtful. I’m not all that worried about the surprise being blown to hell and back. After all, Mr. Regina is about as subtle as a Mack truck. Gotta love that.

I believe the best Valentine’s Day thing he has EVER done was in 1986. I was eight months pregnant and feeling big as a damn cow or errrr….elephant. My Valentine was big, red, and featured a comical Elephant on it. After I laughed and smacked him with the card, he gave me a beautiful pair of pearl studs. An awwww moment. Gotta love that…laughter and a few happy tears.